I loved the movie “Scent of A Woman”, not only for the amazing acting, but for the passion behind Al Pacino’s character and how his attitude had gone from caring about other people’s opinions – to flat out letting them have it with both barrels. While his eyesight was gone, he made up for it with the passionate fire of a thousand men igniting all of this other senses to burn much brighter. This speaks to me now as I feel that I have been somewhat blinded by the trauma of recent events and years of subconscious codependency.

My senses are beginning a new normal. It is almost like the heart is taking a break to mourn, so the rest of my senses are becoming more active to compensate. Smells are more enticing, for example I suddenly have a desire to smell flowers more often. With all the hugs I have given, I learned that I really like the floral shampoos. My tastes haven’t changed, but I’ve started to alter my diet to the foods that I used to like instead of our mixed diet. I have started to look at things differently, taking a little more time to admire each thing I see. And, I have begun listening.

If I am to be completely honest, listening isn’t one of my strong suits. I try, but sometimes the flypaper doesn’t always hold the fly. Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, I need to hear it multiple times. Luckily, those who have surrounded me to help me navigate this ‘process’ are understanding of my shortcomings and are working to help me be a better “rememberer”.

Thank you to anyone who has helped me smell, hear, see, touch, or taste new things recently. I used to fear change, now I am beginning to understand that I need to just change my fear.